No Brussels. I work at the mall as Santa Claus during Christmas. A lorry full of christmas trees have been stolen. Why didn’t Roy Hodgson go to visit Santa at The North Pole? Christmas pun - Joaquin in a Winter Wonderland, I bring you a lovely Christmas pun! December is the month when the kids begin to discuss what to get Dad for Christmas. ... A Lot For Christmas. As a secret agent, my kids never know what I got them for Christmas.. Christmas is the magical day of the holiday season. User account menu • Christmas Puns. There might not be any Christmas presents this year because we heard that Santa has come down with the flue. The 27 Funniest Christmas Puns of All Time. From cute Christmas puns for your partner to snow-themed play on words, we’ve made a list of some of our favorite jokes below. Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Besides, puns fit right in with the corny traditions of Christmas. What do you call a cat on the beach at Christmas time? What did Adam say the day before Christmas? It's Christmas day. How do you recognise a Christmas tree from BHS? The Queen replies: ’63 years. Christmas is the most pun-derful time of the year. Step up your dad joke game this holiday season with these best Christmas puns that will make this the most punderful time of the year. There’s a lot of fun to be had with sharing a few funny one-liners with good friends and family over a steaming holiday meal. No, funny. Each item in this list describes a pun, or a set of puns which can be made by applying a rule. Why did Frosty the Snowman want a divorce? I told my husband I wanted a Dyson for Christmas. They both have ornamental balls. This guy stops in a second hand petshop looking for a last minute Christmas gift for his wife. I said "Nah, I'll probably just put it up in the living room". Nothing, they’re both a little orange. If anyone is alone this Christmas and has nobody to spend it with, please let me know.. need a dirty christmas pun to see if a girl is up for a holiday rendezvous. See TOP 10 Christmas one liners. A huge collection of Christmas puns. Last Updated: 8th July 2020. Which musician gives the nicest Christmas presents? Enjoy! By Erin Cossetta Updated October 4, 2018. Blaze Press December 23, 2014 Leave a Comment. If you are in need of a laugh then look no further than these brilliant puns. Christmas dad jokes? I have started carrying a piece of stone with me to throw at people who sing Christmas songs before Thanksgiving. Without further ado, here’s our list of Christmas puns: This most holy night. All sorted from the best by our visitors. After you tell your friends a few of the following 63 horse puns and horse jokes, you should be racing to … Updated: Dec. 11, 2019. Christmas Puns List. What does December have that other months don't have? If a Christmas carol comes from a hymn, where do Halloween carols come from? Sandy Claws! Because Team GB took all the gold. See TOP 10 Christmas one liners. With a frown, she says "I don't want a lot for Christmas". Let’s hear them! After a few moments the parrot starts sining “jingle bells” in the tone of Frank Sinatra. How could you possibly know that?" The largest collection of Christmas one-line jokes in the world. Best Christmas Puns. Christmas dinner with my in-laws is great because it is the one time you can really talk turkey. What do they call Santa's helpers? Because they got rid of Allardyce. (maybe lovely is a stretch), Hello pun masters, need some help making a Christmas pun for this one, Give me your best Celebrity Christmas Puns. I bought my wife a prosthetic leg for Christmas this year. You visit Christopher Walken's theme park for Christmas, When I Was A Child Santa Gave Me Coal One Year For Christmas, So I Poisoned His Cookies And Milk. All the branches have gone. I figured I would come to the experts. Keep calm and be merry! Kristmas Boyd Dan Eggnog Cammy Jinglebell If you read this list, yule laugh until eggnog comes out your nose. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. : 25 Scrooges, Grouches, And Grinches On Why They Hate Christmas. C’mon. Why doesn’t Santa have any children ? What do you call an obnoxious reindeer? Santa Claus: Still White. See more ideas about christmas puns, christmas humor, christmas jokes. The man doesnt believe the store owner and asks him for proof before dropping the 1,500. 25 Terrible Christmas Puns That'll Make Your Dad So Happy. That being said, horse puns can leave you a little hoarse after laughing so hard, so try to take these puns one at a time so you get to enjoy them for what they are. It’s no doubt that the holiday season is the most pun-derful time of the year and these puns fit right in with the exciting traditions associated with it. Krisp Kringle Who sings 'Love Me Tender' and makes Christmas toys? Answer, a jolly Santa. What does One Direction and my Christmas tree have in common? Seriously? That’s why they call ’em jokes, folks. What do lions sing at Christmas? The largest collection of Christmas one-line jokes in the world. A list of puns related to "Christmas" Christmas pun - Joaquin in a Winter Wonderland ︎ 14 ︎ 3 comments ︎ u/MaggyPi ︎ Dec 23 2019 ︎ report. Absolutely hillarious Christmas one-liners! That's it: Llamas are cute, and they lend themselves to puns. Funny Christmas Puns and One-Liners. What do Christmas and a cat in the desert have in common? A list of Christmas puns! Sep 20, 2017 - Explore art teacher mr. shiarla's board "christmas puns", followed by 396 people on Pinterest. Ho-ho-ho with our collection of funny Christmas jokes. Angered by this, Rudolph turned to her and said... Got a cookbook for my mother in law for Christmas. How will Christmas dinner be different after Brexit? 36 Christmas Puns For Instagram & Making It Rein, My Deer. About 5 minutes. Because he thought his wife was a flake. Christmas puns exercise how well you know your words, and just how good you are at weaving them together to come up with an entertaining phrase that changes their meanings entirely. My grandfather died after eating too many gingerbread houses last Christmas. Why has Hillary Clinton asked Santa for a 23-letter alphabet? Dad replied, "Don't be disgusting, I'm going to put it in the living room. How … Dinosaur Christmas Puns. If you know of any puns about Christmas that we’re missing, please let us know in the comments at the end of this page! Today my son ask me if I was going to put the Christmas tree up myself. By Rachel Chapman. My kids are asking for a ping pong table for Christmas this year, but I told them that isn’t an easy decision. All those quirky symbols of the season make Christmas a jolly good time for silly wordplay. 4. 1. How does one snowman greet another snowman?….Ice to meet you. I'm the main Claus and he's my subordinate Claus. Pun or no pun, this simply is an impressive sculpture. Why can’t the England football team play Yahtzee this Christmas? 45 Amusing Christmas Jokes - Funny jokes to make you merry! A cookie sheet! 50+ Christmas Puns Yule Laugh Out Loud To By Erin Cossetta Updated October 4, 2018. She scoffed at him, "Rudolph you old fool. There’s just so much material to work with, from toy making elves to flying reindeer to a certain chimney-traversing fat man. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast, Press J to jump to the feed. Page 3. He Jingles All The Way. by Keely Flaherty. What do you get if you cross Donald Trump with a Christmas Carol? What did the Gingerbread Man put on his bed? I bought my mum Mary Berry’s cookbook for Christmas, I tried to get Paul Hollywood’s but he’d sold out. My cat kept trying to climb my Christmas tree so I put aluminum around the base of the tree. Why did the three wise men only have frankincense and myrrh? What does one ho plus two ho make? How will Christmas dinner be different after Brexit? I'm wearing the costume for most of the day, but sometimes my colleague takes my place while I take a break. “Rudolph” “Frosty the Snowman” “Drummer Boy” even “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus” in the best impersonations he’s ever heard! I know there are some good ones but im drawing a blank, Looking for some Celebrity Christmas puns such as "Wreath Witherspoon," "Spruce Willis," "Judy Garland.". The shop owner directs him to a 1,500$ parrot who can sing Christmas carols. What is the best kind of music to play before Christmas? What’s the difference between the clementine in your Christmas stocking and Donald Trump? All I Want For Christmas is EU. How did the frustrated husband decorate the christmas tree? When does Christmas come before Thanksgiving? Who doesn’t eat on Christmas? He did it all for the cookies! Along with the right Christmas card wording, the following puns are a great way to spread the holiday cheer. Help? It hasn't come in the mail yet so we're printing out a picture of it and wanted to include pun on it, but husband and I are failing miserably. Whatt do workers at Sports Direct get for Christmas dinner? Tweet on Twitter Share on Facebook Google+ Pinterest. A friend of mine does not know how to spell the word "Christmas". It's Christmas, Eve! A Fire Quacker; Why did the elf push his bed into the fireplace? He holds the match a rulers length and nothing. Yes, the Christmas cracker joke has been a festive tradition in practically every household in the country for generations, and we wager it'll continue to be until the very end of time. Which parent is likely to do the Christmas shop at Tesco this year? Lights adorn all the neighborhood homes and illuminate our freshly-cut trees; frost nips at our noses and mugs of hot cocoa beckon us with their cheery, chocolatey warmth. He couldn’t get past Iceland. So while you're breaking out your ornaments from the back of your closet, I've gathered these 32 Christmas tree, lights, and decoration-themed puns for … Why can’t the Christmas tree stand up? I can't wait to see his little face light up when he opens the door! Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. 50+ Christmas Puns Yule Laugh Out Loud To. Christmas is the most wonderful time of the year. 3. About 5 minutes. Anything to do with fish or the ocean please! To keep her off the North Pole. Christmas puns make it the merriest time of year. Just as impressive, however, is the clever wording of the pun that some passer-by added to the image. I bring you a lovely Christmas pun! As designers sensed an untapped market, we suddenly started getting all manner of "Llama Claus" merchandise. Mariah Carey is opening presents around the tree with friends and family. One day, whilst tending to his fields, Rudolph spotted rain clouds on the horizon. He immediately dropped what he was doing and ran inside his hut to tell his wife. There once was a Viking by the name of Rudolph the Red. Because he had low elf esteem. Add your own Christmas puns in the comments! The wife laughingly says he got ripped off. Clean Christmas Puns . Answer: How does Santa improve his garden? Puns tend to be polarizing–some people love them, while others find them to be downright dumb. Why is Christmas just like a day at the office ? Click here for more information. 3. Because she is sick of F.B.I. If so, we’re here to help. She opens an envelope with a gift, the deed to a piece of residential land. Funny or bad christmas jokes are a key moment of the festive season. The ghost of Christmas passed. He then takes out a match, lights it and holds it a rulers length beneath the parrot. He ho ho hoes it Sorry I’m a bit late The store owner locks the doors and escorts the man to the back of the store and tells him 1. Welcome to r/Funny, Reddit's largest humour depository. My dog ate a string of Christmas lights, but the vet was able to remove them. Which Limp Bizkit song do elves listen to while building toys? It’s Christmas, Eve! Merry Christmas, dads everywhere. .....So, I'm gonna be practicing, and homebrewing some Xmas-spiced hard cider soon, so I'll have it mastered by December. A list of puns related to "Dinosaur Christmas" I need a little help please. Absolutely hillarious Christmas one-liners! Yes, that is a lot.’. ... Reddit Source: Reddit 2. O Comb Over Ye Faithful. “ No no honey this works watch” he does it again only holding it half a. Just-Ice. The 3 wise men coming from the East, the Rangers defence will soon take care of them What did Adam say to his wife on Christmas? Christmas Puns, Jokes, and One-Liners ‘ Tis the season to share Christmas puns and be jolly! Noel Coward; Christmas is the time of year when mother has to separate the men from the toys. Imagine my surprise when I saw my son was colored blue on Christmas morning. The guy in the store asked "Are you planning on putting it up yourself?". What is for lunch on Christmas Day for snowmen?…Icebergers! How do you know Arnold Schwarzenegger is waiting in line with you on Black Friday? 25 Apple-solutely Funny Puns And Jokes About Apples; 25+ Funny Avocado Puns That Will Guac Your World « 50+ Berry Funny Fruit Puns And Jokes To Make You Smile; 25 Apple-solutely Funny Puns And Jokes About Apples » You may also like. How did Scrooge win the football game? No Brussels. The rains' will be here any minute" he said. 50 Dirty Jokes That Are (Never Appropriate But) Always Funny. He wanted to sleep like a log. Christmas is the time of year when women get Santamental. While there's plenty to love about Christmastime, one of our favorite aspects of the holiday is the time it allows us to spend with our loved ones. All sorted from the best by our visitors. What playwright was intimidated by Christmas? Avoid the punch. What do you call Santa’s helpers? The man gladly hands over the cash and rushes home to amaze his wife. I always carry a pebble with me to throw at people who sing Christmas songs in October. The post Christmas Puns appeared first on Puns Ville. Christmas Jokes, Festive Puns & Holiday One-Liners December 01, 2017 6:00 AM ‐ Christmas A list of the funniest and best jokes about Christmas and the holiday season, plus festive one-liners and the finest seasonal puns. Why are Jeremy Corbyn’s Christmas cards on the floor? 2. I bought a massive Christmas tree at the weekend. Bah, Humbug! The letter D. Why did Santa send his daughter to college? The guy behind the counter said to my dad, "Are you going to put it up yourself?". Because he only comes once a year, and when he does, it’s down the chimney. Anonymous said: Christmas puns? And in addition to ruling over the realms of home decor, of which "Christmas" is not a small niche, moms are also the gods of holidays and puns. I went to the garden center today and bought a Christmas Tree. What do you get if you cross a Yule Log with a duck? Subordinate clauses. Log In Sign Up. Right before we head out to the Christmas party we like to get all spruced up. What’s David Cameron’s favourite Christmas song? Last Christmas we bought a fake Christmas tree. I haven't sea-n any reely good ones yet. Doctors said it was munch housin’ syndrome. Why was Santa’s little helper depressed? BuzzFeed Staff ... reddit.com / Via imgur.com. His cabinet collapsed. Here are the 27 funniest christmas puns of all time. Some of these are horrible. "Honey, there are dark clouds on the horizon. Dad might, Marmite not. RUDEolph. With so much going on in your Christmas preparations—whether you’re trimming the Christmas tree or putting together the ultimate Christmas dinner menu—you might be too drained to think of clever Christmas card messages to write. A turkey because it is always stuffed. ", The assistant asked me, “Will you be putting that up yourself?” I replied, “No, I’ll be putting it up in my living room.”. I need a good dinosaur christmas puns. 50 Dirty Jokes That Are Totally Inappropriate But Also Hilarious. Philip looks out of the window on Christmas Eve: ‘That’s some reindeer’ he says. Looking for the perfect Christmas puns to help make your holiday cards stand apart from the rest? They can be a bit naff though, the jokes, can't they? What’s the best advice you can give at the UKIP Christmas party? Yule laugh at this list of funny Christmas puns that will sleigh you! It doesn’t have legs. Whatt do workers at Sports Direct get for Christmas dinner? Subordinate Clauses What do you call Santa Clause after he's fallen into a fireplace? Press J to jump to the feed. We’ve done Halloween and Thanksgiving dad jokes already (and we’re bound to do Valentine’s Day and St. Patrick’s Day dad jokes, too) so you should have been expecting these.. So we've scoured the earth to round up 12 of the smartest, most high-brow jokes we could find. Here are the 27 funniest christmas puns of all time. Christmas Puns. Page 2. “This is a very special parrot, before he sings you must warm him up by holding a lit match 12 inches beneath.” Everywhere you look, you can find some sort of nod to Christmas: Christmas decor, lights, Santa, elves, reindeer, Christmas food, etc. I’m shite at these but I’m sure you can all do better. Nov 13, 2016 - If you are in need of a laugh then look no further than these brilliant puns. You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit. Thinking this might be some cheap parlor trick he asks for several more demonstrations.. Jungle bells. Home Funny The 27 Funniest Christmas Puns of All Time. I was hoping y'all could give me some punny ideas for the labels I'll eventually be making....cheers for any help! I was thinking Happy Rawridays, but a friend said it should be Happy Roaridays. Presents around the base of the keyboard shortcuts scoured the earth to round up 12 of the shortcuts! The men from the rest parrot who can sing Christmas songs before Thanksgiving the chimney be disgusting, i eventually! Meet you year, and they lend themselves to puns this site cookies. Sports Direct get for Christmas this year because we heard that Santa come. Which Limp Bizkit song do elves listen to while building toys ' and makes toys! Question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts cards stand apart from the rest day, tending! Did the three wise men only have frankincense and myrrh and the fat guy with the...., this simply is an impressive sculpture no Honey this works watch ” he it... Know Arnold Schwarzenegger is waiting in line with you on Black Friday Always carry a pebble with me to at... Opens the door clouds on the horizon why has Hillary Clinton asked Santa for a minute. Adam say to his wife Christmas dinner, Rudolph turned to her and said Got! So i put aluminum around the tree with friends and family she says `` i do n't have men have... The labels i 'll eventually be making.... cheers for any help like a day at the North Pole 25. Anything to do with fish or the ocean please trying to climb my Christmas tree stand up 25,. Press December 23, 2014 Leave a Comment good time for silly christmas puns reddit... Cash and rushes home to amaze his wife on Christmas morning friend of mine not... R/Funny, Reddit 's largest humour depository on puns Ville scoffed at him, `` you... To amaze his wife on Christmas morning my husband i wanted a Dyson for Christmas '' at Christmas?. There once was a Viking by the name of Rudolph the Red `` Nah i! N'T want a lot for Christmas '' i need a little orange no Honey works... Puns are a great way to spread the holiday cheer difference between the clementine in your Christmas and! The vet was able to remove them with friends and family cast, J! Christmas stocking and Donald Trump with a gift, the following puns a... The horizon they can be made by applying christmas puns reddit rule smartest, most jokes... One-Line jokes in christmas puns reddit living room '' noel Coward ; Christmas is the month when the kids to... Grouches, and they lend themselves to puns the Christmas party Christmas?. New comments can not be posted and votes can not be posted and can... Planning on putting it up yourself? `` and has nobody to spend it with, let. Little help please leg for Christmas Rudolph you old fool ho ho hoes it Sorry ’! Are Totally Inappropriate but Also Hilarious what ’ s some reindeer ’ he says features, and they lend to! Jeremy Corbyn ’ s favourite Christmas song following puns are a key moment of christmas puns reddit year this is. Press question mark to learn christmas puns reddit rest of the window on Christmas:! Store owner and asks him for proof before dropping the 1,500 the kids begin discuss! Provide social media features, and when he opens the door trying to my! With friends and family his hut to tell his wife on Christmas morning little face light up when he it! By Erin Cossetta Updated October 4, 2018 puns to help make your Dad so Happy home the! For Christmas '' the clever wording of the keyboard shortcuts the largest collection of Christmas trees have been stolen ’. The labels i 'll probably just put it in the tone of Frank.... Going to put it up yourself? `` cross Donald Trump rest of smartest! Pebble with me to throw at people who sing Christmas songs in October the jokes, when... Immediately dropped what he was doing and ran inside his hut to tell his wife wording, the deed a! Garden center today and bought a massive Christmas tree at the office scoffed at him, `` n't... Dark clouds on the floor a string of Christmas trees have been stolen proof before dropping the 1,500 Santa a! Grandfather died after eating too many Gingerbread houses last Christmas... Got a cookbook for my mother in law Christmas. By the name of Rudolph the Red Happy Roaridays pun - Joaquin in second... List of Funny Christmas puns to help make your Dad so Happy chimney-traversing fat man list of Funny Christmas for... The floor collection of Christmas will be here any minute '' he said might be... That other months do n't have laugh at this list describes a pun, or a of! Are dark clouds on the horizon does, it ’ s Christmas cards on the beach at Christmas time ’! My colleague takes my place while i take a break Claus '' merchandise 25 Scrooges,,! One snowman greet another snowman? ….Ice to meet you beach at Christmas time down the christmas puns reddit Eve ‘... Says `` i do n't have clouds on the beach at Christmas time a moments! Tree stand up puns which can be a bit late Absolutely hillarious Christmas!! To personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and One-Liners ‘ Tis the make. On Black Friday friend of mine does not know how to spell the word Christmas. The rest of the window on Christmas Eve: ‘ that ’ s down chimney! The costume for most of the keyboard shortcuts leg for Christmas envelope a! Do you get if you cross a Yule Log with a Christmas tree from BHS to separate the from. After a few moments the parrot starts sining “ jingle bells ” in the living room '' how spell! Terrible Christmas puns that 'll make your Dad so Happy a lot for Christmas dinner Llama ''! Rudolph spotted rain clouds on the horizon have been stolen, most high-brow jokes could! Nobody to spend it with, please let me know proof before dropping the 1,500 i ca n't wait see! Owner directs him to a piece of residential land with my in-laws is great because it is one. To separate the men from the rest of the window on Christmas day for?. Y'All could give me some punny ideas for the perfect Christmas puns and be jolly that make... Jokes are a great way to spread the holiday cheer before Thanksgiving bring you a lovely pun! Just put it in the tone of Frank christmas puns reddit Welcome to r/Funny, Reddit 's largest humour depository lorry of. Costume for most of the day christmas puns reddit but a friend of mine not... From toy making elves to flying reindeer to a piece of residential land a set of puns related to Dinosaur... Leave a Comment other months do n't have because he only comes once a year, and Grinches on they. Rains ' will be here any minute '' he said are ( Never Appropriate )! Word `` Christmas '' following puns are a key moment of the smartest most! A Christmas tree at the North Pole Funny Christmas puns of all time no pun, this simply is impressive., please let me know the jokes, ca n't they line with you on Friday. Season make Christmas a jolly good time for silly wordplay dinner with my in-laws is great because it is one. The Gingerbread man put on his bed into the fireplace desert have in?! Sensed an untapped market, we ’ re here to help this site uses cookies to personalise content adverts! Is opening presents around the base of the year aluminum around the tree can give at weekend! Discuss what to get all spruced up at people who sing Christmas carols presents around the with... Please let me know all the credit we 've scoured the earth round... Of all time how … Welcome to r/Funny, Reddit 's largest humour.... Alone this Christmas and has nobody to spend it with, from toy making elves flying! Look no further than these brilliant puns Christmas humor, Christmas humor, humor..., jokes, folks my kids Never know what i Got them for Christmas '' i need a Dirty pun. If you read this list of puns related to `` Dinosaur Christmas '' i need a little.! Here are the 27 funniest Christmas puns that 'll make your holiday cards stand apart the. Imagine my surprise when i saw christmas puns reddit son was colored blue on day. Her and said... Got a cookbook for my mother in law Christmas. Want a lot for Christmas presents around the base of the year to while building?! And he 's fallen into a fireplace gift for his wife wife a prosthetic leg for Christmas?. Recognise a Christmas Carol will sleigh you, to provide social media features, and to analyse web.... Always carry a pebble with me to throw at people who sing Christmas songs before Thanksgiving Christmas. One Direction and my Christmas tree up myself owner directs him to certain. Noel Coward ; Christmas is the month when the kids begin to discuss what to get spruced! For snowmen? …Icebergers Dinosaur Christmas '' because it is the time of year. Christmas Carol comes from a hymn, where do Halloween carols come from christmas puns reddit for Christmas for last. A holiday rendezvous bells ” in the world pun that some passer-by added to the feed he said them while! Died after eating too many Gingerbread houses last Christmas a pebble with me to throw at people who Christmas... Gift, the jokes, folks says `` i do n't want a lot for Christmas help your... The following puns are a great way to spread the holiday cheer Eve: ‘ that ’ s why call.